emotional intelligence and our wellbeing

For a long time, I thought happiness was something I had to chase. If I could just achieve a few more goals, hit a certain milestone, or tick all the "right" boxes, I would finally feel happy. Does this sound familiar?

I believed that external success would eventually lead to internal peace and happiness. But what I found on my own journey was much deeper and far more powerful: happiness isn't something you find "out there." It's something you learn to cultivate from within, and for that, emotional intelligence is the key.

My Turning Point: From Achievement to Awareness

Several years ago, I was navigating a period of intense uncertainty. On the outside, everything looked fine. I was ticking boxes, I had a "good" job that paid more than the bills, I was progressing professionally, driving a nice car, travelling, and appearing "together," according to society's perception of a happy life. Inside, though, I felt disconnected from myself, from others, from what truly mattered.

One morning, I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest. Everything that once seemed important like all those career milestones, the image of success, and the busy calenda; all of it suddenly felt empty. It was as if the life I had been carefully building no longer made sense to me. I realised I had been moving on autopilot, disconnected from my deeper needs and desires, chasing goals that didn't truly resonate with who I was becoming and who I truly was on the inside.

It was then that I decided to look for something else. In my search, I turned to friends' advice, spiritual healers, and therapists, all with the same result: it all still felt the same. It wasn’t until my fourth attempt that I found an ontological coach, and it really resonated. Ontological coaches help you visualise, understand, and challenge the way you perceive, feel, and stand in the world. It was the first time that I began understanding myself in a different light,and started to appreciate and develop what we call emotional intelligence.

I learned to understand and manage my emotions instead of suppressing or ignoring them. I realised that much of what I considered success was an unattainable goal I had set for myself based on unconscious patterns I had learned through my life. For the first time, I started paying attention to the way I spoke to myself and how those words shaped the way I saw and interacted with the world. All this stemmed from my internal emotional landscape.

I realised that it wasn't about achieving more. It was about connecting more — first with myself, then with the world around me.

What is Emotional Intelligence, Really?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as to recognise and understand the emotions of others.

It isn't about being "emotional" or "overly sensitive." It's about being emotionally aware, emotionally resilient, and emotionally wise.

Key components of emotional intelligence include:

• Self-awareness: Knowing what you're feeling and why.

• Self-regulation: Managing your emotional reactions in healthy ways.

• Motivation: Harnessing emotions to pursue goals with energy and persistence.

• Empathy: Understanding the emotions of others.

• Social skills: Building healthy relationships based on emotional understanding.

When you strengthen your emotional intelligence, you unlock a profound inner stability. Instead of being tossed around by life's external events, you respond from a grounded place. And that’s where true happiness grows.

The Link Between Emotional Intelligence and True Happiness

Here’s why emotional intelligence is so powerfully linked to authentic happiness:

1. You Build Inner Security

   Instead of needing others' approval or external validation, you find peace in knowing yourself deeply.

2. You Handle Life's Ups and Downs Better

   Challenges and setbacks still happen, but you recover faster, with more grace and less drama.

3. You Cultivate Healthier Relationships

   When you can tune into your own emotions and express them clearly, you create deeper, more honest connections with others.

4. You Align More With Your True Self

   As you become more emotionally aware, you make choices that align with your real needs and values, not just what you "think" you should do.

5. You Experience Deeper Joy

   Rather than fleeting moments of happiness, you develop a lasting sense of contentment and purpose. Emotional intelligence isn't a "nice to have" — it's a foundation for a fulfilling life.

How You Can Start Strengthening Your Emotional Intelligence Today

Here are a few simple practices to begin nurturing your emotional intelligence and, with it, your happiness:

1. Check in with yourself daily
   Take five minutes each day to ask: What am I feeling right now? Why?

2. Practise naming your emotions
   Instead of saying "I'm fine" or "I'm stressed," try to get more specific: "I feel anger," "I feel sad" "I feel anxious", “I feel content”. Language shapes awareness.

3. Pause before reacting
   When emotions arise, pause before responding. Breathe. Ask yourself: What's really going on here? What is this emotion trying to tell me? And regulate that emotion before acting.

4. Listen deeply to others
   When someone speaks, focus fully on them. Notice their emotions as well as their words.

5. Practise self-compassion
   Treat yourself with kindness, especially when you’re struggling. Emotional intelligence grows faster when you create a safe internal environment. These small practices create big shifts over time. And you don't have to do it alone.

Your Journey Starts Within

Happiness isn't "out there." It's inside you, waiting to be nurtured through greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and aligned living.

If you're ready to deepen your emotional awareness and create a life that feels truly yours, I'm here to walk alongside you.

Want to start your journey? [Book a free discovery call here!]

Let's explore what’s possible when you reconnect with yourself and live more fully, more consciously, and more joyfully.